They Don’t Just Watch Us—They Absorb Us

What a Morning with My Daughter Taught Me (Again) About the Power of Healing in Parenting

This morning, my daughter Xyla was playing with her sound bowls, fully immersed in the beauty of sound and creativity. When she felt complete, she clapped her hands proudly to say “all done!”

Since I was holding my phone, I couldn’t clap with both hands, so I gently patted my arm. Without hesitation, she mirrored me — clapping her arm the exact same way.

It was a sweet, simple moment… but also a powerful reflection of a deeper truth:

Our children absorb who we are.

Not just what we say.

Not just what we do.

But the energy we carry.

Even the parts we’ve tucked away.

🧠 Behavior Is Biology — Not Badness

One of the foundational truths I’ve learned, both as a mother and through my coaching certification with the Jai Institute for Parenting, is this:

Children don’t need to be fixed. They need to be understood.

And in the same breath, parents don’t need to be perfect — they need support.

In books like The Body Keeps the Score and Beyond Behaviors, we learn that what we often call “misbehavior” is simply a child’s attempt to regulate, connect, or express an unmet need. And when we get triggered by their emotions or actions — frustration, defiance, whining, withdrawal — it’s not because we’re bad parents.

It’s because our own nervous systems are responding from stored pain, fear, or unmet needs from our past.

🔄 What I’ve Learned to Do Differently (And What I Teach My Clients)

In my own healing journey, I’ve had to rewire the belief that being a “good mom” means staying calm all the time. That’s just not realistic — especially when parenting brings up the very wounds we’ve been trying to suppress.

Instead, I’ve learned to:

  • Create new neuropathways by consciously pausing, breathing, and responding differently over time.

  • Use mindfulness, somatic tools, and reflection after hard moments to understand what got activated in me.

  • Talk it out with safe people, mentors, and coaches — not to vent or blame, but to process and prepare.

  • Make a plan for next time. What would I like to do differently? How can I support myself better in those moments?

  • Celebrate my progress, not shame myself for the setbacks.

It’s not about perfection.

It’s about preparation.

And it’s about practicing.

🏃‍♀️ Parenting Is a Practice — Like a Sport

Think of it like training for a sport or developing a new skill.

If you fall down once or get a move wrong, you don’t quit. You review, you rehearse, you regroup. And with every repetition, your brain starts to rewire. The shift happens through:

  • Consistency

  • Repetition

  • Compassionate accountability

  • And yes… a whole lot of grace.

💗 This Is What I Help Parents Do

In my parent coaching program, I walk alongside caregivers who are ready to break generational cycles — not through willpower alone, but with tools that support nervous system regulation, emotional literacy, and true connection.

We learn how to:

  • Understand our triggers and turn them into teachers

  • Practice new responses instead of repeating old reactions

  • Repair with our children in a way that builds deeper trust

  • Let go of guilt and embrace growth over perfection

Because real change doesn’t come from shaming yourself.

It comes from loving yourself enough to stay committed to the work.

If this speaks to you, I’d be honored to support you on your parenting journey.

You don’t have to walk it alone.

📩 DM me to learn more about my coaching program or visit reviveandradiate.com to get started.

You are worthy of healing.

And your children are worthy of a parent who believes that too.

💗 #ConsciousParenting #GenerationalHealing #JaiParentCoach #FromSurvivalToRevival #TheBodyKeepsTheScore #BeyondBehaviors #ParentingIsPractice

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